Heavy Sigh.
I'm still suck, aren't I? I haven't written a damn thing since SocNoc. This summer went by even faster than usual, which seems to be a trend. Each year flies by faster than the previous one and it tends to be the fall, when my boys go back to school, it really hits me. This year was a big one for me. My older son started High School this last week. I knew it was coming, I thought I'd prepared myself, but I just can't seem to get over the fact that I am actually old enough (and yes, I'm old enough, I was no child-bride) to have a kid going to High School.
On the other hand, it's made me realize how fun high school was. Last week, the boy had soccer tryouts (which brings up another funny story) and as I sat and watched tryouts, I observed the goings-on around me. The football team was practicing on an adjacent field and the marching band could be heard practicing in the parking lot for Western Welcome Week. There were giggly groupie girls sitting on the hill watching tryouts while texting continuously on their cell phones. It ALMOST made me want to go back to high school again. Not quite, but almost.
So, at risk of outing my own idiocy, I'll tell you a funny story about the boy's soccer tryouts. He doesn't like me to watch him at tryouts because I make him nervous. But I really wanted to see how he was doing because he's the type of kid who won't say a damn thing or if he does, he'll say he did horrible even if he kicked ass. So on the first day of tryouts, I drove to the school to see if I could steal a peek. I couldn't really see him from the parking lot, so I looked around and spied this hill behind the high school that I figured I could sneak up the back side and sit and watch without him seeing me. When I got to the base of the hill, I saw that the sprinklers were on, blocking the path up the hill, but I figured if I was quick, I could beat the sprinkler while it was spraying in the other direction. I waited for it to pass the path and as soon as it was clear I started to run up the hill. What I didn't think about (duh) was that the hill was wet and henceforth would be MUDDY. Yes, I attempted to run my 40-something lard-assed body up a slick muddy hill, in FLIP-FLOPS with my car keys in one hand and my brand new iPhone in the other (the groupie girls had influenced my decision to take my phone and text the boy's father on his progress).
So no big surprise what happened next, right? Yep. I slipped and started to fall. I tried to catch myself at first with my right hand, dropping my keys and tearing the tendons of my thumb. I managed to stand up for a brief moment, only to fall flat on my face. In the mud. Yeah. I was covered from my knees to my chin in mud. And my iPhone? CAKED with mud. I was half crying, half laughing hysterically at myself as I retrieved my flip-flops and traipsed back to my van in the parking lot only to realize that I'd dropped my car keys in the fall. Which meant I had to haul my mud-covered self back to the hill, dodge the sprinkler (although now that I think of it, I have no idea why I bothered. Getting wet at that point would have been a good thing), and search around for my keys in the mud. Miraculously, nobody saw me. At least I didn't see anybody who might have seen me. I hope not, anyway.
I didn't have time at that point to go home and change before tryouts were over, so I just sat in the van and waited for the boy. When he got in, do you think he noticed his mother's condition? Nooooo. But he DID notice the iPhone caked with mud, drying on the center console. He asks what happened to my phone. I tell him the same thing that happened to me. He looks at me and says, "Mom ... why were you rolling around in the mud?" As if I WANTED to cover myself in mud. I told him the story and he rolled his eyes and said, "If you wanted to watch me so bad, why didn't you just come and sit on the sideline?"
ARGH!
So now I have a bum thumb and I'm finding out there are an awful lot of things us humans need a thumb for, like signing all the back-to-school paperwork including the Medical Emergency Release Card for Junior Varsity Soccer (Yep, he made JV). I can't use a corkscrew (and you all can imagine how much THAT upsets me) I have to have my husband turn the shower on and off for me (and put up with his sly remarks as he's doing it, like "let me know if you drop the soap, I'll help you pick it up"). And there's not a whole lot one can do about torn tendons in your thumb except wait for them to heal. Typing isn't so bad though, which sort of blows any excuse for not writing, doesn't it?
Well, I guess that's all I have for you all at the moment. In the meantime, take my advice and stay out of the mud.
